she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
