69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
