So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
