It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
