i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
