I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
