You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
