my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
