You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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