she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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