i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
