what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I believe in your delicious
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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