Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize