you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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