You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
