You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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