But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize