Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
