They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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