when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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