Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
