I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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