KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
