I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
