My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
my shit smells like andre
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
