so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
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