We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
