Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
