Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Damn victory sex feels great
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
