need another drink. this is the easiest way
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
