Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
