Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
