There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
nutella sex= disaster
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
