i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You were trust falling into bushes
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
