i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
