is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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