On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
the liver wants what the liver wants
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
