She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
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