My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
