i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize