I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
