I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
