we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Who died my cat blue again?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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