We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
