i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
