is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
