it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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