That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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