I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
