bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
