also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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