Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
