Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
We had sex on a dog bed..
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
