I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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