Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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