I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
