did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
