You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
