is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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