I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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