U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Semen is not good for contacts.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
