You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
