4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize