The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
