either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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