I must be too annoying 4 u.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
