We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
